Monday, November 22, 2010

Why love

I can't believe i really fell for you. I know why i fell for you but why did i ignore the red flags. I did it because i wanted to believe you were something special. The way you made me fell was remarkable i never felt that way about anyone before. It was all a lie and that's what hurts the most. No what truly hurts is that i gave my heart to you, my soul and i even gave you a beautiful baby girl. At night before i put my baby girl to sleep i look at her and tears fall down my face. I look at her and i see you. I look at her and think how could he treat me like this and how can he just not care about her. It hurts when days turn into weeks without him calling to see how she's doing or if she's still breathing. My heart aches; I'm shaking just writing this opens up the wounds even more making them even bigger. I never thought someone could hurt me so bad. The one song that truly expresses how i feel is "How could the one i gave my heart to". I'm playing it now as i sit here and write this blog. I just want to know what did i do to deserve any of this heartache. And what hurts the most is that i have to explain to my daughter why her daddy isn't around. As for me, i don't know how to love anymore i don't know where to start. Why would i wanna love again???